
Right at the scary top, we're looking at the big venues.
The Old Royal Naval College must be one of the most sought-after venues in Greenwich, and there's no denying that the Painted Hall is pretty grand. Sadly for many, so is the cost, though if you have huge numbers to cater for and a big budget, this could be your blow-out of choice. The Queen Mary Antechamber isn't much smaller, and nor is the cost.

The King William Restaurant is smaller in size and has attractive arched ceilings. It's immediately below the Painted Hall, and although it's effectively underground its white-painted walls and high windows make it light and airy.
The Admiral's House is smallest of all - an intimate room with a large wooden table and grand paintings.
The ORNC is licenced for civil weddings, but it does seem to come with one caveat as far as I can see. They insist, I am led to believe, that the catering is done by their in-house caters, Leiths.(I am sure they'll put me right if I'm wrong...) I have eaten at the King William restaurant and have found the food to be serviceable but not exciting.
My next biggie is
Ranger's House on the very edge of Greenwich Park and Blackheath. An extraordinary building, I've seen it all dolled up for an event and it was something else. Administered by
English Heritage, don't expect much change out of four grand - though just a ceremony and a few drinks is half price as long as you don't take too long.

Another HUGE hitter, still in the borough but not in the town, is the exquisite Eltham Palace. It's extremely popular - I will never forget the day I turned up to view the tapestries on a Saturday and got very rudely turned away by a dreadful horsey woman. She put me off for years, but when I finally plucked up courage to go again, I realised that it is a beautiful venue. Also organised by
EH, take a deep breath and be prepared to stump up up to six thousand quid. But oh, what a night...
Still on the terrifying side,
The Trafalgar Tavern has been a wedding venue for a couple of centuries now - it was even used by Dickens characters in Our Mutual Friend. And it is beautiful. The ballroom upstairs is exhilarating and the view over the Thames from the bowed balconies is fabulous. A great venue for a Regency-Themed wedding. Sadly the little bar that was done out like a ship has now been obliterated with a 'makeover.' There's a downstairs "Trafalgar Club" but I've never seen it. Again, you're not talking cheap. They're not owning up to how much - you have to call to find out, which I always find suspicious.
The swanky venues don't stop there, though.
The Queen's House is yet another breathtaking venue - and a film star in its own right. Look to be spending in the region of £1,100-7,000 - I couldn't tell whether this includes the slightly alarming-looking "personal co-coordinator". It looks amazing, but I wonder whether with their "approved list of suppliers" and other rules and regs it might be a rather stifling experience. One thing's for certain though - it would be an event not to be forgotten. I've been unable to find out whether the glorious Octagon Room at the Old Royal Observatory is available. I suspect not, because of the problems with keeping the park open after hours. It involves tiny trains and guests being counted - such a hassle.
The Cutty Sark is out of action just now - but when that comes back - probably in 2010, it should be an incredible space. I don't know if they're taking tentative enquiries yet. I went to a wedding there before it closed and it was fantastic. A word to the wise. If you're of the traditional-jazz-persuasion, do not be tempted to book a peripatetic marching band with sousaphone below decks...
Moving on,
Devonport House is another central Greenwich venue. I confess I know practically nothing about it. And after visiting the website, I don't know much more. It doesn't give you any idea of anything - it all looks a bit - well, corporate to me. They too, threaten the dreaded "coordinator" and force you to fill in an enquiry form, reminding you which bits are "mandatory" - am I the only person who just wants to scrap an online form that's so rude?
Charlton House is beginning to sound a bit more like it. It's local-authority-run, with whatever connotations that brings with it, but it is a lovely, 400 year-old mansion with several good rooms of different sizes. Expect to pay between £700 and just under £2000 - though Good News, GreenwichCard holders - you can get 5% off! A note of caution - I have heard that the kitchens are some way from potential dining spaces, so there is a risk that food can go cold on the journey...
Just out of the area, smaller, but perfectly-formed,
Danson House is an exquisite Palladian dolls house of a venue. Gorgeous, taking up to 60 guests and, I believe, licensed for civil ceremonies, it's administered by the Bexley Heritage Trust.
As is the glorious medieval
Hall Place in Bexleyheath, which is also licensed for civil ceremonies, but is v. popular so might be rather full.
My final pick of the truly frightening, but a much smaller choice - more like having a reception in a jewel box than a palace, is
The Fan Museum at the bottom of Crooms Hill. You can either have a tiny reception in the exquisite orangery - or spill over into a marquee, which for my money sounds a bit less exciting - after all it's the whole dinkiness of their fabulous garden you're after and let's face it - a tent is a tent. They're not owning up to any prices either.

I'll be discussing more options - from the quirky to the downright penny-pinching in other posts...